Will I get There?

                               

Last year, in September, my father bought his second car. me, along with my parents and little sister had gone to my grandmother's place to show her the car. She was very happy, as we were leaving she said, to my father, "if your father would have been alive today, he would have been very proud of you, seeing you doing so well for yourself and your family."

Apparently, my father was not the brightest child. Among the other 3 siblings, he was the least good in academics compared to his overachieving siblings. And hence, the least favorite. My grandparents thought he would never do anything substantial in his life. 

Why I am saying this?

Because, I am the same, I am everything that my parents don't want me to be. By that I mean, they had a specific image of their kid and but I wasn't the replica of their projection. As I grew up I realized I am in fact in many ways like them. But they don't realize it. I don't blame them, they have their own things going on. Everyone wants a child they approve of. 

I am in the same place my father was in his 20s. And now 30y later he got what he also must have dreamt of. Approval and pride of his parents. I could not see his face when he heard that, but I am sure it must have been a wonderful feeling. A feeling beyond expressions. I can say it because I will feel the same. That will perhaps be the day when I will feel, my purpose is complete. 

I do not mean to say that pride will come materialistically only, but I want to get to that place, where I can see that validation in their eyes.

I want to get there someday. I wish I get there someday. I pray I get there someday.

Will I?

And what if I don't...

Sanskruti