Its tough being YOU.

I sometimes wonder, how does one become so rigid in their own thoughts and belief, that all the others become inconsequential to them. Honestly, sometimes while writing, I am scared to spill out too much in here, which I probably don't want to share. Is that being a coward? for the longest time I thought I was an open book to people. But now I guess, I am not. 

Apologies for drifting away, I do that sometimes. 

As I started writing this particular piece, there was totally another topic on my mind. But, as I was down to the above few lines, something weirder came in.

To substate, the thought content, I was about to add some real scenes from my life, as that was the plan when I started the blog. Telling my story and thoughts, and believe me, when I say that

It is tough being You. 

I wanted to write a real situation of my life here, but at the same time when it dawned on me that, this may be read by people, who probably know a different version of me, I didn't want to write it anymore. Ideally, I should not care, I am not saying that they are inconsequential, the whole purpose is to have an audience. But, it just scares me someway to know that, a part of me that the world has not known till now would come out in the open. God! that sounds so serious 😂

It's that I fear, some may not understand it. Because, something that comes so easily and is basic to them, I have to fight for it every single time. But, I think it is okay to be a little scared.

I am ashamed of myself, no, on the contrary, I am extremely glad how I turned out to be. And I owe to my setbacks. But somehow, putting it out into the world is difficult.

I think, now I understand why everyone is not authentic on social media, its because it's difficult. It's scary and intimidating. It's easier to paint a picture of perfection than be vulnerable. The funny thing is, the place where we can be vulnerable is our safe space (loved ones), but at the same time, we are shit scared of being vulnerable. That trust is perhaps the most difficult thing to attain. 

I hope some of us get there. To accept the dark in our lives with glory. 

PICTURE COURTESY: wordsby.elena ~ via Instagram

Sanskruti